Participant 7
Story
“When the pandemic hit, I still had to go into work at the jail every day. We took precautions, but eventually I was one of many who became infected. The first couple of days weren’t too bad, but fatigue and a loss of appetite, concurrent with loss of taste/smell, made the two weeks I was out miserable. Because I was isolated, I was alone most of the time. My problems really started after I got my shot. It is still undetermined exactly how the vaccine managed to cause so many problems. A few weeks after the shot, I was sent to the hospital from work after I nearly passed out. Extreme dizziness and weakness made everyone think I was having a cardiac event. I was unable to think or verbalize what thoughts I was having, so I couldn’t adequately convey what I was going through. It wasn’t until a few months later when I basically had a breakdown at work that I started to realize how bad things were. The onset of my symptoms was so gradual, I didn’t notice. I was short-tempered. I had difficulty thinking, processing things mentally. It was affecting my work, which is dangerous in itself. It caused unnecessary friction between our “clientele,” and my coworkers, but I didn’t see it at the time. The physical issues went hand in hand. My breathing had been an issue since the beginning, but it got worse as it progressed. Even eating has turned into a strenuous activity that will make me stop and catch my breath. Headaches became more prevalent. Sometimes it feels like someone stuck an air hose in my head and over-pressurized my skull. Other times, it feels like a gremlin in my brain is jabbing an icepick into my forehead. More often, it’s just intense pain throughout the front half of my skull. As it turns out, homeopathic pills are more effective for these pains than normal pain relievers. Most frustrating is my inability to concentrate and focus. As much as I like to read, this has become challenging of late. Even subject matter I was familiar with was difficult to process. Even trying to do my own research into Covid was problematic as I could barely get through a couple of paragraphs before losing concentration. For a while, it was easy to throw myself off. If I moved too quickly, or overexerted myself, I would feel unwell for hours. I was dealing with panic and anxiety attacks multiple times during the week. Because home was my safe space, I spent several weekends curled up on the couch, feeing unfit to do anything. At those times, even having to get up to go to the bathroom was a fight. I’m not sure if it was harder on me or my family. Things began to change when I went to a functional medicine doctor. He ran some tests that showed how my eyes weren’t functioning synchronously. Part of my problem was that I was in a perpetual state of motion sickness. This allowed him to determine that my Vaygus nerve wasn’t functioning properly. This nerve is responsible for the regulation of internal organ functions, such as digestion, heart rate, and respiratory rate, as well as vasomotor activity, and certain reflex actions, such as coughing, sneezing, swallowing, and vomiting. Many of my problems were laid out right there! So, he gave my exercises to retrain my eyes, and to stimulate both the Vaygus nerve and my frontal lobe. Although I’m far from fixed, a month of that has shown progress. Each of us is affected by this illness differently. As rough as I have felt, I know there are people worse off than I am, so I really can’t complain. I know I have the support of my family to help me through this. We will get through it!” - COVID Long Hauler
Key
Body Posture: I opted to show myself napping, as that was a popular activity for a while. I originally had it traced in brown, since that was the color of the uniform I was wearing when I caught the bug. I decided at the end to color it like one of my Irish green shirts, and blue jeans. With a belt! Aside from dealing with the excessive fatigue, sleeping was always a good escape mechanism.
Marks on or under the skin: There were several marks I used. A pair of jackboots symbolizes the headaches that feel like an army marching through my cranium. The pressure gauge is for the intense pressure headaches I've had, that feel like someone stuck an air hose in my head and let it go. The 'X' and the note about the Vaygus nerve illustrate one of the most important things I found about getting better! The water drop is for the aroma therapy I tried, the heart is for my hypertension. The blue squiggles represent my breathing difficulties. The ice cream is what I'm not supposed to eat any more, the dinner plate is small representing my diminished appetite, and the skull/crossbones warns of foods I shouldn't be eating. The last mark is the blue toes, in that lately my feet get cold easily, making me keep an eye out for neuropathy.
Personal Symbol: I chose for my symbol a spiral, which to me portrayed the downward spiral that I felt that I was in. The arrow indicates that though it was headed downward, there is upward hope.
Personal Slogan: Still VERTICAL, still BREATHING, still FIGHTING!
This is a variation of a regular greeting I use in regular life, but it shows that I haven't given up yet.
Color: I don't have a bohemian flair for artistry, as I'm generally a conservative person. The colors I used were for the most part authentic and realistic rather than interpretive. I can be boring sometimes.
Shapes: In addition to the marks previously mentioned, I had to portray my wife and her support as indicated by the drawing of the bride (She looks better than that!) and the clasped hands with the highlighted wedding ring. The chart illustrates my declining productivity, although lately that shows signs of improving. The hourglass is there to show that between my 60th birthday and this damned disease, my mortality has been driven home.
Future: The future right now seems a little hazy. The eye exercises have led to improvement. My breathing is still rough sometimes, but not as bad as it's been. I'll be starting hyperbaric chamber sessions next week, which have the potential to help my body heal, and generally make me feel better.
There is still a lot of work and healing to go through, but it feels lately like this will in fact go away eventually.
Message to others: You need to find strength wherever you can dig it up. If you can muster it from within that's great. I rely greatly on my bride a lot, mostly because the brain fog often makes it hard to think and remember. Don't dwell on the negatives. Look for things to be happy about. This is so gradual that it was probably two months before we realized I wasn't collapsing on the couch when I got home from work. That is actually a good sign of progress! This illness WILL pass, you have to believe that. It just takes a long time....